||[Dec. 16th, 2006|04:36 pm]
i feel weird.
i have been having really weird feelings... i havent been feeling very happy lately. & im not quite sure why. i love dusty, but i think sometimes that he dont wanna be with me. he talks to other girls online & he even started talking to his x girlfriend again. its like im never enough for him, then theres this one thing that bothers me, cuz i feel like i need to do it, but i cant do it for many of reasons. i dont know, it just sucks. i love him so much and i think he knows that i do, but he doesnt do much for me to think that he feels the same way. i only talked to one person about it, and that person told me what i should do. communication is the key. but everytime i try to talk to him, it goes in one ear and out of the other. either that or he just doesnt listen at all. i cant keep going on like this. i only feel as if one person looks at me for what i am. and its not dusty or anyone around in middletown. i need to know that im beautiful to someone, or that someone loves me more than life itself. i just dont feel like i am someones number one anymore. he gets off work and goes to sleep almost immeadatly. we never get to spend time together, even when hes off of work, he doesnt try to spend time with me. like earlier today, i said i wanna spend time together and he goes and plays his xbox instead. we have a kid together, and i watch him all day long while dusty is at work. and he's really spoiled and hard to take care of, so when dusty gets off work, i ask for his help, but he bitchs at me. help, i need advice.